Something you may or may not know about me is that if I feel even a little stressed or worried or angry about something I burst into tears. It’s instantaneous. One moment I am just fine, yay life is great and the next crying. Well, yesterday I was outside doing yard work and I got a text from my classroom teacher. In short, she asked me if I was interested in being her aide next school year because her current one is getting a different job. Instantly my stress level skyrocketed.
I have been incredibly stressed about what I am going to be doing with my life and where I will be doing it. This just added another major decision to the ever growing list of adult decisions I have to make in the near future. A decision, mind you, that I never imagined having to make.
So here I am crying in my garage; caught between wanting to have my own class and making enough money to live on my own or having a year where I could make notes about and learn from a very effective and amazing teacher. I think being an aide would be like taking on an internship but being the teacher sounds really great too since I just spent four years and too much money on college. I am fairly sure I have made up my mind but how do I know what that next few month will bring? How can say yes to one and no to the other and be sure I am not going to regret it?
At this point, what I have decided to take from this is that my classroom teacher must think I am doing at least an okay job. She must kind of like me if she offering to spend another year with me. Maybe that is why the tears came so quickly? For now, I think I can live with taking that away and not deciding anything about my future. That’s pretty much how I have gotten through life so far. Run with the small things and leave the actual decision making for another time!