So I took the class I was subbing in outside today to see the police officers and their police dogs. As soon as I saw where the cars were parked, I knew there would be trouble. The cars were right in front of my classroom windows. I got my sub class settle down and seated and I purposely stood behind them facing away from the windows. I had this feeling that my class was in chaos on the other side of the windows. They were. My classroom teacher told me that they were spastic over the fact that I was outside doing something without them. I feel kind of bad that they saw me having fun with another class because ultimately (at least in their minds) I belong with them. It also made me feel pretty good because they were so interested in me.
I told my classroom teacher if she is ever having a bad day just go teach another class because the students are really excited to see you when your not in the room all day. It’s a little nice that they miss me. I guess I am making a bigger difference than I thought… I am taking these little moments like this and when they stop in the classroom to hug me on the way out to recess as signs that things are better than I often view them. Students I constantly yell at and make move their clips are some of the ones coming in and hugging me. It’s pretty nice. This is why I teach. I have a group of kids who I care so much about and who care about me even when they may need a little extra dose of discipline. They need someone there for them and I honestly I need someone who depends on me.
My classroom teacher said that the students needing her there is why she stays even after the awful things she has gone through while teaching. It makes total sense now that I have seen it from a distance. Sometimes seeing things from a birds eye view makes all th the difference in the word!